Sexuality Information

Masturbate and Feel Good

2007-01-18T15:25:00.001+08:00

"Masturbation ... is not approved of the Lord nor this church, regardless of what may be said by those whose 'norms' are lower", President Kimball of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (1981)

"Every sperm is sacred. Every sperm is great. If a sperm is wasted, God gets quite irate." Monty Python's The Meaning of Life.

A quote often used by various churches in an effort to contain illicit acts amongst its people. Every sermon on masturbation would quote it, atleast all the sermons I have heard. Under the circumstances, is it difficult to imagine masturbation as one of the biggest taboos in our society? Even today? Scientific education has done a little to change it. Does that mean men and women don't masturbate? Certainly not. 99% of men and 70% of women masturbate according to various studies. The problem lies in the acceptance of the fact that you masturbate. Let me tell you a story... a story about you.

One night you were sitting alone in your appartment eating pizza. You decided to check out some new sites on the net while you eat. So you log on to your ISP and start surfing. Inadverantely, you come across some piece of pornography(yes, the net is quite full of it!) Looking at those erotic (and often downright nasty photos) you feel a tingling between your legs. One thing leads to another and you end up spoiling your underpants. Now let me tell you another story.

One night you were sitting alone in a bar drinking beer. And then a most gorgeous person enters the bar. The person that causes tingling between your legs just looking at him or her. You decide that you can't let go of this oppurtunity to get to know this wonderful creation of god. So you move towards this person and start small talk. One thing leads to another and you end up in your appartment.

Whether you are a woman or a man, the next morning you wouldn't be jumping with joy in the first case. When you go out in the evening to meet your friends, you would not tell them about the hot site you found and how you jerked off to it. Nevertheless, in the second case, you would be telling anyone who cared to listen how you had the most wonderful experience of your life last night. Why? Well, maybe because self pleasure is, well, nothing special. You can do it anytime you want. Ofcourse seducing the person of your dreams is quite an accomplishment. No wonder you need an audience. But what if you have a friend like me. A friend who is crazy enough to ask you did you wank off yesterday night? Was it good? What would you do then? Would you tell your friend about the hot site and your experience? Would you simply say, "Yeah! It was great! What about you?" Or would you pretend nothing had happened and lie... something like you were somewhere else yesterday night, or maybe lead your friend to believe you got lucky with someone?

I am guessing you would do the latter. Most certainly you won't acknowledge the act of masturbation. Rather you would evade the question and change the topic. And when your friend tells you about a hot conquest the same night, you would wish you had a bowl of water in which you could drown. Shame and guilt would come over you and you would change the topic in double quick time. Are you crazy? Noway! You are just one of the majority. And quite a majority at that! Way more majority that what George Bush had in the last elections! The reason - social conditioning!

You are just like the boy who ran out of the cinema hall that was screening an adult film (mind you, he had no business of being there in the first place! But all the cinemas care about is the sale of their tickets!)

Later in the day, the friend who had been at the movies with him, caught up with him and asked, "Why in the hell's name did you run out?" The boy answered, "My mom said that if I watched a woman getting naked I would turn to stone. And damn you Harry, a part of me was already turning into stone!"

Unluckily, the social conditioning is wrong. It is as wrong as the social condition in 18-19th century India, where widows were forced to burn alive with their husbands. As wrong as the church was in burning Galileo for implying the Earth was not the centre of the universe. Lily Tomlin put it best, "We have reasons to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation!" If god didn't want us to masturbate, maybe we would still be walking like dogs and horses!

The social conditioning is a result of numerous myths, lies and scams perperated by numerous individuals for personal benefit. Unfortunately, this conditioning is like a hard nut, very tough to crack. However, with effort and chanelising your energies, you can break it. Remember, the nuts that crack the hardest, are often the ones that taste the best! You must be wondering, how the hell does it matter if you feel guilty about masturbation. Why should you spend time breaking this casing?

Certain psychologists believe that guilt conscious, whether sexual guilt or in any other form, is the most destructive element for your mental health. Others believe it is one of the most destructive. But the greatest effect of guilt conscious in my experience has been a lack of confidence in self. Now you are an intelligent reader. I don't need to explain you the importance of self confidence. Be it your career, relationships or any other aspect of life, lack of confidence can bring your downfall. Now I am not implying that should you start to feel more comfortable about masturbation, you would succeed in all aspects of life. But it would be a nice step to take. An useless guilt that should, and can be eradicated from your mind. Remember, an ocean is made of small droplets of water. Get rid of a drop at a time and in due time, the ocean would be empty! Ofcourse it would take several millenia! Luckily, you don't have an ocean full of guily! Just some naggings here and there!

The first step towards eradication of this guilt is knowledge. There are thousands of myths around masturbation. Most of them perperated by religion, unfortunately. But some perperated by scam runners. Lets take a look at the most important ones.

1. Masturbation is against the will of god.

Bullshit. At one point the church considered anyone who was overtly passionate to his wife an adultrater. Follow that teaching and your wife would be committing adultery! Several clergymen have gone on record to say that not only the church's teachings about sexuality were unrelated to the scriptures, but that they caused more harm than good amongst people. Besides, nowhere in the religious teachings of any major religions is masturbation considered wrong.

2. Masturbation will cause impotency.

Most males and even some females seem to think so. Wrong again. Lets tackle the males first. It is understandable that seeing their sperm flow out of their body, they think it may end sometime. Well, it will end one day... maybe when you are 100 years old. But until then don't worry. Your sperm bank is quite unlike Standard Chartered. You have unlimited credit here! Sperm is a completely renewable resource, renewable on an hourly basis! For women, well, there is no basis in the theory. Probably perperated by old ladies who never had an orgasm in their entire life!

3. Masturbation causes acnes, hair loss, skin diseases.

This one is my favorite. Mainly because it is one of the better scams of all times! Your social conditioning would have you believe that masturbation is bad for your health. But bad how? No one would give you a satisfying answer! Now some scam artists saw this as an good oppurtunity to sell their products like hair growth lotions, etc. Since most people start masturbating during their teens, (the times of acne and other skin problems), they would have you believe that this is caused by masturbation! Unluckily for them, this is as untrue as the sun rising from the west! Masturbation has no physical side effects!

4. Masturbating will make you thin and skinny!

Then there would be no need for diet pills and fitness regimes my friend! And most certainly 70% of USA wouldn't be overweight!

5. Only Kids masturbate!

Why would you say that? I wonder! Well quite untrue, most adults masturbate... yup even after marriage!

6. Masturbation is for males.

And it is for 70% of the women too. Thats right, two thirds of all females masturbate!

7. Only losers masturbate!

Another of my favorites. Just goes to show just how much of a taboo is masturbation! First thing, 99% of males and 70% of females have masturbated atleast once in their lives. Now that is a hell of a lot of losers don't you think! Nothing more that I can add really... this is really the epitome of insecurity amongst people regarding self pleasure.

8. Masturbation is for homosexuals.

Wow. Where did that one originate! Someone must make a etymology of these myths, would make for an interesting read! Just as untrue as all these myths, masturbation and homosexuality have nothing in common. Some people masturbate to their fantasies of opposite sex, others to their fantasies of same sex. Thats it.

9. Masturbation will make you blind!

Others claim that masturbation is bad for your eyesights. However, their claims are unsupported by facts and medical advice. I suggest you talk to your general physician and he will explain you what a load of bull this is.

10. Masturbation changes the shape of your penis

Well, it does make it rock hard. But believe me, once you orgasm, the hardness is gone! So no. Masturbation has absolutely no effect on how your penis looks.

There are loads more of these myths circulating around the world. If you have a query about masturbation, ask me, I would happily lay your fears to rest. My email is advice@pornographytimes.com

Now lets move on in an attempt to get rid of your guilt. Clearly, all the reasons that made masturbation such a taboo are baseless. So why should you feel guilty about something that is normal and actually healthy? Healthy? Yes that too! This January, I recieved an email from a woman who had some major problems in her marriage. Due to her career and that of her husband, their sexual life was inexistant. Both held jobs in big MNCs and were frequently out of town. Sometimes, they would see each other once a month! Nevertheless, they were very much in love. Her problem was, that inspite of all their love, they were getting into petty fights with each other. The woman was even experiencing problems during work, getting angry for no apparent reasons, shouting on her team. Her temperament was a creation of the stress caused by extensive work and lack of pleasurable activities. Add to that sexual frustration.

My advice to her was twofold. First, I told her that she would have to slow down, and so should her husband. They must make time for their hobbies, maybe try and get in some physical exercise when they could. Most certainly, they needed to see more of each other. They should onsider talking off a couple of days and just be together. Second, while she was alone, she should consider fantasy therapy. Namely, reading erotic novels, watching erotic movies... exciting herself and eventually masturbating as regularly as she could. Three months later, I recieved a thank you letter from her. Apparently she had put my advice to practice (which is quite rare!) and it had actually helped. (Which is not so rare!)

How did masturbating help her? Because most of her problems arose from stress and lack of physical activities. And masturbation, like sex, is the perfect medicing. When you orgasm, your mind gets cleared of the regular day to day problems. Your body gets excited and the blood flow increases. Sometimes, you even sweat! A complete and perfect exercise for those with lack of time!

The next step in getting rid of your guilt is self belief. Something, no outsider can help you with. Here is what I would counsel. Read as many articles on the internet as you can relating to masturbation. Just so that you know that I am not bullshitting you. Any queries you have, don't be afraid to ask me or another sex advisor on any of the reputed websites. Remember, the first step is knowledge and the second step is belief. And knowledge leads to belief. Good Wanking!

Dr. Jessica Stumper

What Turns Them On?

2007-01-18T15:24:00.001+08:00

People make 90% of their opinion about us in the first 4 minutes.

Physical desirability is determined in the first 10 seconds.

You do not have to look like the latest Hollywood hunk or runway supermodel to be attractive to the opposite sex. By understanding why and how people are attracted to you and employing these strategies you can easily have them looking your way.

Gender signals operate on a subconscious level. Which has been passed on by are ancestors. Do men perceive beauty over personality and intelligence? Flowers have beautiful colors to be attractive in a deep forest. They let you know about their condition this way. It is the same for human attraction. A man is attracted to a woman when she shows the possibility of him passing on his genes. An attractive man for a woman is usually one who can provide food and safety. Looks are not always a number one priority for woman but rather a sense of security. They are usually attracted to older men because of this.

What turns men on the most?

Men are visual beings. They first see the physical beauty of a woman and if she could carry his gene. But a man does not seek the same physical lust in a long term partner. But more for a stable relationship and someone who can care for him and the family.

A woman's body seems to have been created as a sexual signaling system for men.

Men's turn on

1. Athletic Body

A fit body is a sign of health and shows that she is able to bear children and is most likely able to defend herself and her offspring form danger. Some extra pudge is usually more attractive because it helps in breastfeeding.

2. Full Breasts

Late teens and early twenties are men's favorite for breasts. As this is a woman's sexual and reproductive peak. Typical of what you would find in clothing ads and erotic magazines. But don't worry if yours are not quite like that because research and common knowledge show that men love breasts no matter what size. So they are not only attracted to large breasts. They just simply love them all.

Breasts are mostly fat tissue which is not involved in the production of milk but gives them that contoured look. Breast mostly change only a little during pregnancy. They are usually used for sexual signaling.

The patch around the nipple is called the areola and it has small glands that during sexual activity actually emit a scent. Which in turn stimulates the male brain. Now that goes to show you why men like to spend there time there.

3. Long Legs

A stairway to heaven: The more leg a man sees and the longer they are the better because it draws attention up above.

When a girl reaches puberty her legs lengthen and become a signal to males that she is sexually maturing. Which is it is associated with sexuality. Teenage girls learn of this early and start to wear high healed shoes to make their legs seem longer and short skirts. Men like high heels because they make a woman look more sexual by making her legs seem longer, arching her back, making her butt stick out, thrusting her pelvis forward.

Men are more attracted to thicker legs then muscular legs for sake of sexual differences. It has been shown woman will unconsciously select more revealing dresses/skirts and heels during her menstrual cycle/ovulating.

4. Rounded waist/hips

Woman have been trying to keep or get the hourglass figure by any means possible for the last five centuries. Even if it meant great pain, suffering and work. This meant broken ribs, damaged internal parts, reduced breathing etc. All this from wearing a bustie to look like an hourglass figure. A woman is most attractive to a man when her hip to waist ratio is 70%. The hourglass being her waist is 70% the size of her hips. Usually interest is lost if ratio exceeds 80%. A ratio of 100% or more attracts little attention as this shows fat distribution around the womb and ovaries and is a non verbal indication of lower fertility. Your body moves fat away from vital organs such as the heart, brain, and testicals. Woman who are fixed gain fat around the stomach like men because they no longer have reproductive organs.

To be continued:

Come back soon as I will add more to this list and also cover What turns woman on.

By: Andre Leblanc

Goddess Seeks God

2007-01-18T15:23:00.001+08:00

She sighs as a flute, softly emitting silver echoes of her rapture. This is the sacred song of a female, a woman, whose fragrance is rising to the mind, where petals fold back, releasing a white-gold energy into infinity.

The rushing of the red transforms through the heart to higher thought, where sexual feelings become Goddess and God fused. They exchange their buds of desire, mouth to mouth. The membrane of self-protection splits, and the fluids of love rush out with delight. They possess.

The cries of divine utterance settle to frail weeping, as a rose who has received a full shower of dew. In the pleasant half sleep that follows, she cannot completely realize that she has partaken of the Goddess. She was, for a moment of time, a Goddess. Did she not leave her mortal body and flee to the habitation of spirits? Was she also spirit? Then is she not Goddess? Why did she return to earthly flesh after drinking with him? Perhaps, as two serpents of love they weave and dance around each other, until their heads and eyes see as one. Their fangs pass on to each other the venom of ecstasy, and they reach across the limitless space in a blurred dream. Therefore, in this life they are able to touch briefly the Goddess and God they are and glimpse what they might be if they awaken.

She lies with the leaves on the forest floor, struck by love, and left to continue her days. Another time she will meet him with whom she shares the eons of the spirits, and they will writhe, unchained to the passages of flesh. Peace is hers because she sought her male and he called for her name to the mountains and the winds, and requested the mermaids to deliver to him the woman he needed to show him how to be a God.

There is much misery for a woman who cannot find the balm of their soul in all the countless males she ventures upon. Emotionally, she believed she was not a fortress, she was weak, and therefore met the beasts of the world defenseless. Why didn't she see that she was a Goddess and born to the earth to take her throne? She let many men enjoy her honey, her precious nectar. There was no price for it except a pledge of love. As the morning came, her liquid had been robbed; her face in the reflecting mirror was as the ebb tide. Over time, she became the comfortless hag. Her beauty, once as a translucent magnolia, withdrew into the deep cracks of the desert. Waterless, she could only offer prairie prickles to those who went by, and, equally, no one gave her a chalice of hope.

Yet, beyond the rivers and woods, another Goddess spoke with a perfumed spirit. A Goddess who waits for her lover, flouncing through many gardens of bleeding flowers so she can understand the pain of intimacy. Her feet are bruised from running away.

Patiently she has kept her sweet ointment in a golden jar seeded with pearls. No man had satisfied the value, for which she asked divinity. This Goddess beheld herself in an inner mirror? the secret voice whispered of mysteries, which are to be seen within the crystals. Observing the men of the earth, she saw searing hot auras of red passion and proud phalluses that spun off energy to the four directions like bolts from the hand of Thor. Rapidly, these unattached flames imploded, unable to shoot across the dimensions. They were nothing of themselves but a primitive urge. So, the Goddess knew the bursts of man, and wished to meld with a selected one. A God, who would be searching for a higher entrance; not to moisten the earth with his fertility, but fire himself through the veils of the universe while she sang on the flute of her expression.

If there seems to be a shortage of Gods, it may be the fault of the woman you presently are. You must work with attention for your desire to manifest. You have to dine with the spirits of the upper realms to become at one. Light their candles, drink willingly of their wine and devour their food with all honesty. Command your Higher Self to direct your compass. Open your front door and sweep the steps sadistically, for today you caught sight of yourself. There shall be no more mercy for the pitiful, godless being you were. Write your advertisement in the air so every spirit may assist you: Goddess seeks God.

Esmerelda Jones... writer of old curiosities Victoriana, Victorian Swoons, Victorian Erotica

Boost Your Sex Power - Natural Ways

2007-01-18T15:16:00.002+08:00

If your sexual tempo is decreased after sunny summer days do not be anxious! This is totally normal. You will find a few recommendations and a special formula for men to overcome these hard days on the next lines.

According to mythology, love goddess Aphrodite was known by her own formulated preparations and ointments that she gives to her lovers to increase their sexual power. This is the reason of why today we are calling all stimulating elixirs as aphrodisiacs. Nowadays men are not such lucky and we highly recommend to read this article to men who live in big cities.

Without doubt best aphrodisiacs are Sun, a good sleep and fresh air. A good sleep is necessary for the body to pack itself up, to increase its energy and revitalize its hormones. Sun light is a powerful doping for our body including sexual hormones. The main reason of men's vitality in holidays is being relaxed in fresh air. But in Autumn's cloudy days some natural reinforcements may help a lot.

Magical power of foods:

Basil, clove, ginger, onion, tomato, radish, celery, egg, carrot, red pepper, oats, asparagus, fresh onion, chestnut, hazelnut, pistachio nut, coconut, cucumber, oyster, caviar are main foods to improve your sexual power. Having them in your weekly menu selections would be a wise choice. Specially, foods containing vitamin E like pistachio, almond, hazelnut and walnut are natural drugs for impotence and erectile disorders.

Red is good for men's vitality:

When we say aphrodisiacs we generally mean drugs for men because they must be active in sexual relationships. In other words, for a successful lovemaking they must be aroused and erected. For a man vigor red color is important. In astrology Mars represents man and its sexual power, and Mars's color symbol is red. So, red colored foods and drinks are recommended for man's arousal. For example red pepper, red ginseng...

A man who is always wearing pale, pastel or dark colored dresses may get less excitations. Maybe this is the reason of using red lights, red under wares, red bed sheets... to create an erotic environment. Red coral or ruby stone are also good for increasing man's energy.

Women who feel sexually less active may also profit from red color and stones. But the must important aphrodisiacs for a woman is love and affection added into lovemaking.

As vegetal aphrodisiacs, vitamins are very helpful for a successful sex life. Specially vitamin E is vital for men. Beside pills you can get vitamin E through natural foods and specially hazelnut contains many minerals and essential fat acids. To overcome the fatigue syndrome due to modern life and high technology, vitamin B is also indispensable.

Avoid depression:

Remember that behind sexual troubles, many hormonal and nourishing disorders, and heavy depressions may exist. Also, after a serious depression or a nutrition disorder only a treatment of natural mixtures may not be sufficient, in such cases help of a psychiatrist (sexologist) or nutrition expert is needed.

Heavy training may be harmful:

For a healthy sexual life a light and not tiring training program is as important as vegetal aphrodisiacs. A light and regular exercise program will balance your metabolism and hormonal system to keep you sexually active. But beware of heavy and tiring training programs because an extra low fat texture may cause a performance decrease.

Yoga, meditation and many other positive energy techniques are recommended to purify your brain against stress and support sexual energy. Right breathing exercises are also important for a successful sex life. If you insist for heavy training please pay special attention for a regular and healthy nutrition.

A Special Booster Formula for Men:

Put 1 kg. of a good quality flower honey into a glass pot, add 250 gr. powdered ginger, 100 gr. powdered Indian saffron, 50 gr. peeled and pounded green cardamom, 1 gr. saffron, 5 gr. pounded coriander, 4 sweet spoons of pounded stinging nettle seeds, 2 sweet spoons of royal jelly, 4 sweet spoonful of pollen, 100 gr. unshelled and pounded pistachio nut and 100 gr. of pine nut. Stir and mix the whole with a wood spoon. You can store the pot in a cool and gloomy place. If you don't have any allergy or illness against those ingredients, eat one tablespoon 2 times (morning and night) in a day.

Amy Guven

This Magic Moment

2007-01-18T15:16:00.001+08:00

Remember when you began dating your wife or girlfriend?

Those moments when the touch of her hair, the wisp of a kiss or the electricity you felt when holding hands? Do you still feel the same way or do you feel that you are missing some of those feelings?

Of course you still love your mate, probably more than ever before, but unfortunately most of the excitement has, somehow, disappeared.

You have fallen into the same day, in, day out, doldrums. Time has passed and you are into a routine, and by doing so have lost that special feeling you got just by smelling her scent or hearing her voice.

Well, stop thinking about "what was" and start putting some of the excitement and romance back into your life !

Many successful couples, who have been together for many years, know the secret of a successful relationship is always finding ways to keep it fresh, and what I am going to discuss is just one way that you can put the "oomph" back into your lives .

Have you ever felt the smoothness and delicate touch that a silk blouse gives. That shimmery fabric which is so delicate to the touch and sexy, clinging to her body? It is no wonder that the sexiest looking lingerie is made of silk or a satiny material.

So, why not give your loved one a delicate item to share with you in the bedroom. Watch her as she wears this item and as she caresses you with the feel of the garment against your skin.

This, for sure, can bring excitement to your life but there is something else you can share equally, which should give you even more pleasure and a sense of heightened desire. That "something else" is satin sheets. The smoothness of the fabric, cool against your skin, as your bodies glide across this wonderful material, creating a sensual and exciting moment. Wow, it is such a turn-on!

Prepare the moment by putting these fantastic feeling sheets on your bed. Have some sexy lingerie laid out for your mate and light some scented candles to set the mood.

When you first crawl under the sheets it feels a bit cool, but they warm up quickly from the heat of your bodies, full of sexual desire. The feeling of silky satin all around you is so enticing and very erotic.

Shimmery candles?. Satiny sheets?. Sexy lingerie....

A tender touch....

Are you becoming heady, your desires welling up?

Welcome to this magic moment!

by Marina Smiley